NA duel is completely dead.

If you want to revitalize the duel scene, here's what I'd do.

You'd have to create a league, not a tournament.

First off. Points = money. $1 = 1 point.

Money don't grow on trees, and we'll be having EXPENSES OUT THE ASSHOLE*

*(prize money for niggas, crack for the hoodrats, actual $$/hr for the professional hoes for the VIP leagues and shit... an OG nigga like RAPHA aint gonna want to SLOPPY SECONDS some CLAPPED-OUT HOODRAT on meth).

How do we raise money, fast? All y'all niggas saying slangin rock, get with the fucking 21st century, this isnt 1981, think OUTSIDE THE BOX for a fucking second.

Who got money? Or to be precise, more money than sense? Wall-street, National Military-Industrial Complexes, Ayrabs.

SNC-Lavalin aint just an engineering company, they be making bullets and tanks and shit. And what do Ayrabs ride? THEM TOWELHEAD NIGGAS BE RIDING CAMELS AND SHIT.

Do you CRUSTY-ASS NEGROLOIDS even need for me to continue? This shit writes itself and is so easy am surprised nobody fucking thought of it before.

For anyone who has the business sense of a fucking CRACKHEAD imma continue: get some heavy artillery (Canadian), place that shit in between the camel's humps, market to them desert-dwelling bitches as an M2014 (DESERT EDITION)

All you did was tie a turret to a camel as an homage to Hoth, but them Khat-chewing, towel-wearing mahfuckers aint tech savvy, they aint got to know that shit, you just made 20 BILLION CANADIAN DOLLARS cos they all want it.

This is where wall street comes in: HEDGE FUND THAT SHIT to double your money. And now that investment banking is involved, them JPMorgan Chase niggas be calling Biden and OBAMA on they PRIVATE PHONES and shit, asking to stir up something in the region.

Now suddenly some after about 5800 years of oppression, them good people of Ramelistan had enough of this shit, and they want democracy, so a bunch of FOREIGN-SOUNDING NIGGAS IN BALAKLAVAS show up in your capital's main square and start poppin off AKs/Molotovs/RPG for democracy.

They (Ramelistan) population aint even needed for that shit, fuck, any number between 20 and 80% of your capital's population can show up to protest that shit but nobody aint gonna give a fuck.

Best case scenario - you TRIPLE YOUR SKRILLA while some foreign merc with a lot of greenbacks gonna assrape they VISIONARY LEADER TO DEATH WITH A RAKE OR A SHARPENED BROOM HANDLE worst case scenario them commie fucks are gonna veto UN resolution so you cant nuke the shit out of all of Syria. (you can get them back tho by doing same shit right next door to russia though, same technique.)

BUT! I DIGRESS

Now this be out the way and you got mad cheddar, it's time for some fucking QW HL:DM UT2004QL leagues.

1st thing you gonna need is a mad niggerish headquarters, with a pool table, hot-tub and 72" LCDLEDLSD L-whatever-the fuck-D TV, it's all for your D anyway... for it to drown in PUSSY, check downtown ontario and if nobody wants to lease shit, straight up BUY a SKYSCRAPER, you got the skrilla anyway + can bribe the mayor hes high as fuck off them rocks u sold him last week.


Now you've got a base of operations (and it's all TONY MONTANA'D up... fucking m4s ar-15s, mossbergs, kilos of coke lying about, fucking SHARKS in fishtanks and shit behind BULLETPROOF glass), you're gonna need a lot of hoes.

I suggest starting a cult or becoming famous for being rich, funny and having a huge dick... or a combination of the two.

The fuck am I writing about again? What the FUCK, a QUAKE LIVE tournament? dude nobody plays that shiat no more... NA duel is completely dead, what you want to do is get them duel players like RAPHA and DAHANG and them lot with appeal who everyone knows, then get them to have TELEVISED KNIFE FIGHTS WHILE PARACHUTING.

That shit is extreme and ice cold, I'd watch that shit, and obviously the female contigent would be IMPRESSED AS FUCK at the winner, fucker wouldnt even need to flirt or talk out loud to get laid.

Oh yea it's still kind of a deathmatch but if both land safely they got to keep fighting till ONE OF THEIR DICKS IS CUT OFF.

Think about it, it be adding adrenaline in motivation, you got girls every hair iteration and ethnicity lining up to fuck you after it finish but YOUR BALLS ARE IN JEPOARDY if you lose, it's literally winner takes all...

And I bet this shit is illegal as fuck so if you lose an go to jail, and you got no dick its a one way street right up they motherfucking brown eye, Nuh-uh that shit aint happening on my watch so just as the RZA and Inspectah Deck say, YOU BEST PROTECT YOUR DICK.

I think that basically covers it, except you'd also need to pay them prise money (you're still LOADED), and set a lot of money for legal fees.