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obi

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Journal

Moving to America (27 comments)

( Journal: ESR)

Posted by obi @ 03:06 BST, 5 April 2013 - iMsg

So I might be moving to America in a couple of months, thought maybe some of you could give me some idea of what to expect:

1) I understand that all Americans are grossly overweight. Will I have trouble fitting in as someone who is healthy? Should I try to become obese before I leave?

2) I think all Americans are required to carry several firearms on them at all times - will this apply to me? Maybe I could get away with like a handgun and a grenade?

3) The internet tells me that all Americans are extremely stupid. Will I need to talk slowly and/or use simple words when interacting with them?

4) Coming from Europe, I'm not sure how I will react to all the Freedom. Any ideas on what to do with my new Liberty and Justice?

Thanks.

Edited by obi at 03:07 BST, 5 April 2013 - 3929 Hits

25%

<< Comment #1 @ 03:32 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

Yes.

<< Comment #2 @ 03:58 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

Yes.

<< Comment #3 @ 04:25 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

nice troll
kinda

<< Comment #4 @ 04:44 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

murph

Yeah come on over. We need more ditch-diggers and potato farmers. We can pay you in alcohol and maybe you can find a nice wife that you can beat the shit out of.

<< Comment #5 @ 06:21 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

palatka - Reply to #4

america having a shortage of potatoes... quite a shock lol!!

<< Comment #9 @ 10:22 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

Anonymous (95.93.135.41)

LOL AMERIKA

no more quake for u

<< Comment #6 @ 08:20 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

slm

Antidepressants! Debts! Plasterboard Houses! Worst high-mid-school education! Unemployment! Shitty internet! "Healthy" food! Real estate bubbles! Its definitely worth moving there, u wont be disappointed for sure :)

<< Comment #7 @ 09:10 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

melechesh +: - Reply to #6

I never understood why 'muricans insist on building wooden houses in tornado hotspots.

Edited by quake is potat at 09:10 BST, 5 April 2013

<< Comment #8 @ 10:17 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

palatka - Reply to #7

maybe its cheaper

<< Comment #11 @ 11:41 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

[mash] - Reply to #8

they don't learn cuz dump.

<< Comment #10 @ 11:36 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

slm - Reply to #7

cheap wood from lolCanada

<< Comment #13 @ 12:29 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

sleepii - Reply to #7

I didnt either.

<< Comment #12 @ 12:16 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

sieger

what about quake there?

<< Comment #14 @ 14:37 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

zkyp '

Make sure not to speak with an Irish accent or you'll have to hear "Oh, I'm also Irish!" all the time :c

<< Comment #25 @ 19:23 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

murph - Reply to #14

yup!

<< Comment #15 @ 14:50 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

yes yes yes yes

<< Comment #16 @ 14:50 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

megaman3

cocktail sausages that each have 200% daily intake of saturated fat

highly addictive coke

<< Comment #17 @ 15:00 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

BUT you receive 3x the quality of health care as the rest. Well, atleast you pay three times as much.

<< Comment #19 @ 16:22 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

donka - Reply to #17

10x the price

the quality ranges
You have to be near death to receive good health care. If not, you will be laughed off and discarded as time waste by ever-busy doctor who's looking for cash-cow patients

Concept of doctor is not the same as the rest of the world. Here it means you went to school for 8 years only to make hella dough by ripping of insurance companies that are ripping of regular people who offset costs by paying lawyers to fight healthcare lawsuits

Edited by donka at 16:26 BST, 5 April 2013

<< Comment #18 @ 15:49 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

Well I like it.

<< Comment #20 @ 16:45 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

FFT

Bring a bible and read it. You will have it easy to talk to anyone about Jesus and such.

<< Comment #21 @ 16:50 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

As and american I really don't understand why you would want to move here. I think you'll be dissapointed. And yeah, many of the things you noted are very true.

And we have a 16 trillion dollar debt, the highest in human history.

I'd check out Scandinavia or hell most other European countries for that matter.

<< Comment #22 @ 17:13 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

In California is sunny and where all beautiful non-fat people migrate
In Washington can smock weed
In Massachusetts good tertiary education
In New York City there is big and also Brooklyn Bridge

In rest of America dont go, especially Kansas

<< Comment #23 @ 17:54 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

DizzyMage - Reply to #22

It's worse in the ex confederate states. They're still fighting the civil war down there. I lived in mississippi in 2 years and was treated like shit for being a "northerner"

<< Comment #24 @ 18:16 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

ShadyVoltaire - Reply to #23

I recall reading an article by Hunter S Thompson for Rolling Stone on the bluegrass music gatherings in Kentucky, where you'd nine out of ten times you would struggle to get checked into a rural hotel for having "city boy" plates... from Lousiville :O

Although I heard the metropolitan areas are much more modern and accepting.

<< Comment #26 @ 19:46 BST, 5 April 2013 >>

By

Jamerio '

Embrace the culture and get circumcised.

<< Comment #27 @ 00:03 BST, 7 April 2013 >>

By

sober

COMING TO 'MURICAH !

Edited by sober at 00:04 BST, 7 April 2013

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