haha :) 'There's something wrong with my headphones, all I hear is 'impressive'' I know this one is from Prozac, q3 tdm/duel player.

'someone broke into my home and changed my config' anyone knows who said this?

I've seen icel0re, the US CTF player use that a lot o.o

i had this bind for a while i heard it from plazmaistarr

Hey, that's my bot! Set it up a couple weeks ago.
It tweets every 2 hours from a pool of quotes.
I've got the source for most of them, I'll post the list here with some kind of formatting.


Here we go, i hope that's readable.

Most of the quotes were gathered from these fine threads:

http://www.esreality.com/post/731732/best-cooller-quote/
http://www.esreality.com/post/2093593/fun-topic-to-discuss/
http://www.esreality.com/post/2099050/looking-for-c/

I left out the announcer quotes (2 FRAGS LEFT, IMPRESSIVE, etc...)


your lg is nothink on the lan (c) Cooller (vs Toxjq QuakeCon 2004) http://youtu.be/HW3uA6TZqgw?t=14m22s

There's something wrong with my headphones, all I hear is 'impressive' (c) proZaC http://www.esreality.com/post/2172003/#pid2171437

someone broke into my home and changed my config (c) plazmaister http://www.esreality.com/post/2172003/#pid2279783

RESPECT THE PACO (c) GTV circlejerk

i'm talking it (c) Cooller (school for strenx) http://youtu.be/rbc1tMfkXpw

considering it's on shitty monitors (c) GTV circlejerk

alltimes lucky (c) Cooller (vs czm QuakeCon 2004) http://www.esreality.com/post/731732/best-coo...#pid732226

FU LOBSTER (c) GTV circlejerk http://www.esreality.com/?a=post&id=1263605#pid1263605

it's quiet in the studio (c) Toxjq (vs Fatal1ty WSVG 2006) http://youtu.be/6NLCMDIMjJ4?t=30s

brain was not detected (c) Jibo (vs k1llsen ESWC 2008) http://www.esreality.com/post/2172003/#pid2170019

dont funny (c) lennox http://www.esreality.com/post/2172003/#pid2099065

C'mon... (c) LeXeR (bind)

not my trouble (c) Cooller (vs Z4muZ) http://www.esreality.com/post/731732/best-coo...#pid732226

proud? (c) cypher (vs Spart1e ESL Major Series IV 2009) http://esreality.com/post/1716888/spartie-vs-cypher/

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! (c) Cooller http://youtu.be/3EEHyq1LcTI

this game fucking sucks (c) voO (or his gf?)(vs DaHang IEM USA 2010) http://www.esreality.com/post/2172003/#pid2171352

hahah you know why ownage? (c) av3k (vs Toxjq WSVG Lanwar 2007) http://esreality.com/post/1407592/re-wsvg-lan...pid1406188

sosi (c) Cooller (vs strenx ESWC 2010) http://youtu.be/S827wju8i9w?t=5m53s

that's how you do it. that's how you blow a 14 points lead (c) Zero4 (vs dkt on Hektik IEM USA 2010) http://youtu.be/DreDIhnK-co?t=9m49s

it's not internet (c) Cooller (vs if-22) http://www.esreality.com/post/731732/best-coo...#pid732226

that's skill (c) av3k (vs stermy ESL showmatch 2009) http://youtu.be/KjDqs1SE6FU?t=5m13s

Mindless robot! Won't happen on lan. (c) cypher (vs Jibo asus spring online qualifiers 2009) http://www.esreality.com/post/2093593/fun-top...pid2093972 http://www.esreality.com/files/placeimages/20...cypher.jpg

shit (c) strenx (vs cypher) http://youtu.be/D2Cw0d15kTU?t=2m8s

i'm not your chaotic on dm6 (c) Cooller (vs LeXeR QuakeCon 2004) http://www.esreality.com/post/731732/best-coo...#pid732226

Dog, sorry I'm stealing your lunch money (c) rapha (vs undertaker12) http://www.esreality.com/post/2172003/#pid2172003

NEED PRACC GIRL (c) Cooller http://esreality.net/?a=post&id=819958#pid824608

relax (c) Cooller (vs elpajuo) http://www.esreality.com/post/731732/best-coo...#pid732226

J i b a l 1 t y (c) GTV circlejerk

im not in my form yet :{ (c) Cooller (vs socrates ESWC 2005) http://youtu.be/etciJZuQWgc?t=4m49s

ounage fromage (c) Team France

¦] (c) Cooller (bind)

FREEZE, POLICE!!! (c) Cooller (bind)

COOLLER POV (c) GTV circlejerk

Fascinating individual (c) Carmac

Stermy's mother is one of my favorite things (c) voO (when casting a FACEIT cup)

ZADROT EBANIY (c) cypher (vs k1llsen DHW 2010) http://youtu.be/SqN56MnXiF8

You dont understand word i just word do you? (c) draven (iRC) http://www.esreality.com/post/2172003/#pid2099529

It's crap , thanks for waisting the time. Infidel. (c) Cooller (iRC) http://www.esreality.com/index.php?a=post&id=1242430

*Q* You have been added to mouz`Cooller's ignore list * (c) Cooller (iRC) http://www.esreality.com/index.php?a=post&id=1242430

five steps ahead (c) rapha (interview) http://www.sk-gaming.com/content/17085-Rapha_...ift_for_Q3

i'm stupid (c) strenx (vs ???)

you have to choose situations when to be aggressive and when not to be aggressive (c) Cooller (school for strenx) http://youtu.be/rbc1tMfkXpw

pensioner ebaniy (c) Agent (speccing Cooller beating pavel) http://youtu.be/7VM-Z9Z2Qbw?t=12m51s

yes yes yes you can win (c) Cooller (vs ???) http://www.esreality.com/post/2170872/n-a/#pid2171437

glasses fell off (c) czm http://www.esreality.com/post/2172003/#pid2169743

i don't like this question (c) Cooller interview

gg would be when i rape u in germany (c) cypher (vs strenx Zotac #15) http://www.esreality.com/?a=post&id=1818754

LOL UR STUPID (c) av3k (vs stermy ESL showmatch 2009, losing -1/4) http://youtu.be/bBr14zmtfGA



censored (for now):

OMG I'M SPRAYING CUM EVERYWHERE!!! (c) GTV circlejerk

TEENS ARE TIGHT (c) GTV circlejerk

gg hitler (c) Agent (vs k1llsen @ Zotac)



I know there are a lot more rage/trashtalk gems in the demos and fixtures comments. (btw it would awesome to be able to sort the fixtures by comments number).
If you know of any good ones please post them here and i'll add them to the rotation.
Also, if you know the context for some quotes (like the Zero4 one) I'd love to know.

Just added:

victory !!! (c) Evil (vs Spart1e in FACEIT #18 finals, after Spart1e ragequited @2mins on dm6)

yyeeeeeeees (c) Evil (vs Spart1e in FACEIT #18 finals, after Spart1e ragequited 2 maps in a row)

:3

add "take a clan" by cypher :D

I missed this. Was it today? I need the context, dude.

it was qcon2k12, strenx was talking some shit about cypher[in a friendly manner, as they bootcamped and were in one tdm team]... cypher replied "take a clan" refering to strenx's problems with sponsor before qcon

just watched the video thanks to the guys below. strenx is one crazy mofo :D added!

cypher replied "take a clan" refering to strenx's problems with sponsor before qcon

No, he was saying that so strenx would accept QL clan request (it was tRainspotting or smth).

i dunno, mixed tourneys and facts :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcP4oxbbJuA

forgot about that video, this one is awesome

"That's how you do it" was against DKT on Hektik, wasn't it ?

If its referring to the sentence : That's how you do it. That's how you blow a 14 points lead" or something.

Do you have the event also? Hektik must be pretty recent. I missed that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DreDIhnK-co

Thanks a bunch

Hey! You should add "(c) <the one who typed it>" behind the quotes you're tweeting. Every time I check the tweets its kinda missing that last little part of a famous quote :)

Yeah, I know. I was really tempted to do that.
But then it wouldn't be a proper @_ebooks account.
The principle of @_ebooks accounts, as defined by the father of them all @horse_ebooks, is that the quotes are anonymous and out of context (actually non sequitur). That's a huge part of what makes it funny.
I guess this thread will be used as a reference if you don't know where a given quote is from :P

Ah,alright.

btw: "Wait, its not my wallet" (c) av3k - during an interview at Dreamhack done by 2gd were he was asked to show his ticket to a party or whatever :)

http://youtu.be/wEP3CKCOzSo?t=30m47s

That whole interview is a goldmine =)

haha :) added!

C'mon... is originally a LeXeR bind

Thanks, corrected.

lmao "someone broke into my home and changed my config" ahahah

@Up :D :D :D :D :D

ey capitalists say me when finals (c) alchemist

lmao. Love this. What's the context? Nations Cup? vs who?

alchemist03 on GTV there is a thread with his quotes

http://www.esreality.com/post/1649249/best-of-alchemist03/

www.esreality.com/post/2211411/talking-it-with-russians/

Goldmine <3

http://www.esreality.com/post/1649249/best-of...pid1651213

This sounds totally awesome. Surely, someone knows the context? Please?

Call me butter cos' I'm on a roll!

Context!
Google says this is much bigger than Quake :/

Call me a busdriver cus im taking u to school (c) deus bio

That's pretty smart, but it didn't 'spawn from Quake', if you know what i mean...

moar
http://wiki.quakeworld.nu/Bulat

Bulat needs his own @Bulat_ebooks tbh

UL YOU CPIK ENGLESH I NO ANDERSTENT TEBYA

hetkit (c) - Stermy

Plato wasn't joking. This world is not real. Esreality is not real. It says 'real' in the middle, but the rest of it says es and ity. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

(c)Jonesy http://www.esreality.com/post/2373569/esreali...pid2374617

This guy deserves his own @ebooks too.