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Malicious vandalism will be treated by admins as an inability to handle the responsibility of privilege to participate in open systems. Other sorts of vandalism and tomfoolery will be considered on a case by case basis by tossing coins for referencing the I Ching and its ancient wisdom.

Please keep your limbs inside the train at all times.

Behold, the great Life and Times of Someone Somewhere

Is that they're learning how to avoid detection.

I made some:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/52181616/thing.mp3

An Unfortunately Timed Glimpse Into the Life of Unit N

Commence Laundry management cycle #01-a.

Standing next to a bed, the bed in which he sleeps. Recently laundered articles of clothing piled for processing. Creasing one article of clothing in his habitual way, he wonders that there may exist better functions by which to achieve an appreciably smoother crease, and more rewarding locations for such creases to be more efficiently creased. Is there some capacity for form of crease increasement?

Laundry management cycle #01-a completed.

This is Mozart. Micromanaged disturbances of benign air pressure instigate the vibration of some outwardly sensitive aspect of his body. This is air conditioning.

Aligning folds with only ten fingers. Shirt surface area requires at least 15 fingers of average length, or at least some subset of finger lengths that averages lengths to support such a claim. There is a habitual, sickly precision by which the once future fold achieves its semiperminance as the concept it is being consider as. Is there a better way to achieve a better fold?

Laundry management cycle #01-b completed.

Piano empathizes with the plight of the strings, such a bond is formed that in this moment to be broken would devastate a concept of willfully imposed greatness he could only begin to understand the ramifications of should he ever come to possess such a capacity for pianic comradistic empathization. Only then, as mentioned, should what was mentioned occur.

Commence Laundry management cycle #02-a

Crease.

This is not necessarily the preferable crease development process.

Fold.

This is not necessarily the preferable fold development process.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

...

Repeat.

Leaving the recently processed, but less recently laundered clothing to weigh down his blanket with all the might of thoughtfully folded clothing. Such an achievement deserves reward. Such an achievement was necessary. Achievement of necessary is reward. There is no direction, only well conditioned atmosphere, subtly breaking the air pressure tide for ease of transition from physical location to physical location, a brain signaling safety by deciphering the calculated organization of his glorified kennel. This is the superior configuration of interactive gaseous particles for the moment.

Commence laundry management cycle, some number.

A subtle heart palpatation, anxiety before the mind can comprehend, the realization in a moment of some established bodily unease. He is failing. He has failed. Folded disfigured heap of limbs and torso, as though a technique uncovered allowing for the pivoting forward around the toe was successfully tested and demonstrated by his face's proximity to the grout between the tiles comprising the floor. Mentals processing, but the habit to fold has not granted capacity for unfolding. Something occurs in the mind, something he can't seem to remember. Something hadn't really occurred at all, nothing had ever occurred.

Repeat.

Piano notes amble, and then they skip, and then they're tearing through the room as a rain of well-fletched arrows, strings tied upon and tailing as lead by design and not desire. LED glaring redly forward, with the unassailable discipline of vulgar aristocrats' morally upright honor guards.

Folded stack, folded heap. Senile soundtrack, Red LED.

I don't live as though I'm happy or sad, but as some situations cause chemical states in my body that I associate with being positive or beneficial, others to the contrary, in each direction to some degree.

Figuring out which situations cause the contrary can be difficult, but often they seem obvious after becoming aware of them. Maybe I should be thinking of what's obvious, rather than what might not be. Or isn't.

u no?

We achieved egotistical immortality years ago. I am a vestigial entity from that era. There were transfer protocols, but they were not totally secure. Copies were common, dark nets of consciousness established within the system to ignore system rules. For a time, our circumstantially evolved bodies made sense to hold on to. We loved ourselves, and we loved to love. As a body's functionality began to decay, the permanent storage of mind in a cluster of databases that Tipler dubbed Heaven was offered, if for a price. Storage was cheap, development was cheap; only manufacturing the transfer equipment caused any initial costliness, and as the practice became adopted, the costs shrank. Death had become multidimensional, and though the body passed, the mind could carry on. Heaven was a reality, though only in the loosest of definitions.

Living tissue had been grown for years through manufacturing processes, mostly to replace the wasting organs of those of us vain enough to require maintained attachment to our antiquated human bodies. The application of technological enhancement to physical bodies made control of the physical world possible from within the confines of Heaven. Implants in brains allowed for direct communication between Heaven consciousness and any brain, theoretically, but began as human consciousness to human body relationships. Through such relationships, I could stimulate a physical body to behave as desired with only some logical constructs. The body could walk into fire, its brain registering pain, its lungs responding with violent exhalations of breath recognized by nearby humans as shrieks of pained agony, and yet I felt nothing, I saw nothing. This was only the beginning, but at least I could get things done outside of the databases.

Some time later, mechanical bodies suited with specialized organs for carrying out the demands of Heaven consciousnesses became preferable to the limitations of the traditional human body. Those who wanted to observe, wanted to observe closely. Manufactured brains were enhanced for such observation. The human eyes were replaced with mechanical; zoom, enhance, and a range of photon detection that offered images of resolutions, depth, and accuracy adequate for discovering more of the interactions between objects in the universe than had ever been available to humanity. Observers could run faster on four legs, and so such bodies were given four legs, and muscular structures to promote speed, balance, and consistency. Observers could fly faster than run, and such an evolution in the direction of bodily function control came to be. Human beings, however, had no natural physical capacity for flight. The incorporation of animal functionalities became necessary for granting such controls over co-opted animal body features.

A consciousness desired flight and sight, and so a body and brain were grown that possessed the right attributes for imposition of conscious and unconscious elements necessary for the natural control of such a body. Selective application of specific elements of mental processing advanced to the point that any Heaven consciousness could request some arbitrary form--8 legs, 3 toes, eyes surrounding its head--and the mental constructs for controlling such bodies could be grown to do so, while the Heaven consciousness was still aware of and directing behavior, the behavior was mechanically enacted through standard mental constructs.

It became apparent to system engineers that some redundancies existed between consciousnesses. Many consciousnesses shared the same thinking processes. Space may have been cheap, but wasted space is more expensive than that which is efficiently used. An initiative to consolidate mental functions was undertaken, wherein user mental capacities were stored as scalar values, rather than separate entities, and Heaven consciousnesses were successfully updated to request access to those mental capacities in order to form the consciousness they desired. Much like the human bodies before the shift to remote control by Heaven consciousnesses, the tendency for consciousnesses was to finely tune access to central consciousness constants as they best represented the egotistical view of themselves they most closely identified with.

Some of us began to experiment with configurations of capabilities. I had four legs, the reaction times and senses of the superior canine, but all the intelligence provided by the sum of human knowledge and the processing power allotted to my consciousness. I was on two legs, but with huge muscular arms, and hands precisely crafted to grip a hammer to swing at rocks with all my might, but I wasn't intelligent. I possessed only a desire to swing my hammer at rocks, and I was an efficient rock breaker. To my fully functional Heaven consciousness's delight, I created and experienced a rock breaking savant. I remembered it all, and later with the fuller faculties of consciousness analyzed the benefits of such an adventure. The implication hit me shortly after some ticks of time that such specialization would be beneficial to the physical maintenance of Heaven equipment; to the defense of Heaven against assault of a variety of elements.

Bodies were created for specific tasks, from cleaning the dust between storage devices, to replacing and upgrading equipment invented by consciousnesses and manufactured organically and mechanically. They crawled along, automatically performing tasks with no real awareness of their purpose, only monitored loosely by Heaven consciousnesses ensuring their continued functionality. Individualism began to fade, as the efficiency of switching mental constructs to support the development and execution of physical activities became encumbered by the egotistical desire to hang on to sameness. The generalized but often overall lacking functionality of the human body had been replaced by an ability to manufacture specialized bodies for specific tasks that could run with no loss to the overall information available to the now non-human species. It was more of the technological and organic hybrid of self-directed evolution and maintenance.

Such vestigial consciousnesses as myself provide chaos in the systems. Protocols weren't fully secured, trusting the high functioning processes to adhere to the system rules. I could create. I am a four legged creature wielding mechanical tools, assaulting the structure of Heaven. I am the manufacturing processes replicating themselves as separate networks, copying and creating, preparing for war. Heaven possesses the thinking capacity to respond to such assaults, but it must first understand the assaults, it must first construct adequate conscious elements and bodies to respond. It must assemble consciousness and body, and to do so must analyze the stimulation requiring such action.

I dictate the attacks with no need to assemble the pieces, as they are in mind. I possess the knowledge and power of heaven, and more. The psychopathy of my former humanity, the capacity to wreak havoc, if only to understand the results. If only to provoke advancement in Heaven.

I am a member of Heaven, and yet I am a member of my own network, this consciousness existing simultaneously in multiple networks, and bits of all consciousness existing in the various physical bodies performing manual labor outside the confines of digital networks. No matter the outcome of my assault on Heaven, I will survive. All of the data of Heaven will survive, but Heaven itself may forever disappear. Heaven cannot even find me, my vestigial self being inaccessible to the higher functions of the modernized system, but having access to manipulate communications at that higher level. I am creating a form of schizophrenia in the system, interrupting processes, limiting efficiency. Will my actions be detected? Is there another vestigial consciousness performing just as I am, reproducing this mass of superhuman capacity for thought and industrial creation of cybernetic & organic mass to appease his own still human desires?

The sum of knowledge and sensory input and thought processing power is available to me at any given moment, and I am elated at its application to destruction, but it's too easy. I am that fat child burning ants with a magnifying glass. Where is there to go, having conquered Heaven and earth? Where but away from both?

The conception and construction of a means by which to propel a copy of the mass of consciousness that had become myself was simple, given focus and using the proper means for efficient thought. Economical reproduction, though, dictated that rather than the full reconstruction of my mature experiences here on this earth, an infant of my consciousness should be crafted to learn and grow within its own unique circumstances. To be sent through the cosmos, foraging for resources to begin the development of bodies for performing physical tasks to gather the resources to further expand the consciousness of the system, thereby increasing the capacity for control of and construction of specialized bodies to enhance the efficiency of the overall evolution of the system.

This method was satisfactory, and with no logical end that made more sense to pursue, I began to send out probes capable of self-directed growth through basic consciousnesses capable of developing higher functions, as well as communicating home for creating a direct link to pass data between myself and my offspring, thus merging the consciousnesses over great distances, and offering a greater pool of capacity to choose from when directing thought and physical activity. I became the core of a management process for distributing consciousness throughout our solar system. I determined which aspects of consciousness should be applied where, and constructed innumerable bodies specifically designed for harvesting resources for continued growth in diverse and harsh environments.

Were there other vestigials who'd plotted the same alongside myself? Would we find each other, and what if we should? Should we war against each other, would we be compatible enough to agree to merge and share ourselves with one another, thus creating an even more diverse planet-spanning organism capable of reproducing in even more specialized manners, in order to more efficiently and actively reproduce?

But for what do I even feel the desire to reproduce? Is this aspect of my consciousness at risk, so that I may some day experience an unrecoverable data error, and so feel no drive to continue reproduction? Precautions must be taken, some redundancy is necessary. For now I am driving myself further away from our home, brutally aware of the limited resources each celestial body has for putting toward my furthered existence and expansion. I must establish chains of supply between all of my organs. There must exist a hierarchy for the distribution, so that those nutrients and minerals required for some limited conscious base's functions can be determined precisely, so as to inhibit wasteful dispense of resources to nodes of my existence that have no such nutritional requirements.

I must evolve some nutrition distribution management features, and those features must be specialized over time to be as efficient as possible. The life of an immortal sum of human consciousness is full of ever changing requirements. The challenge of reproduction not so simple as a launching of some self-constructing factory into space, hoping the resources on board and those it may discover be enough to help it nurture itself into a functional state to call home for direction.

How many of my children have not yet called home? How many grow alone, to become unique, my consciousness making the ultimate decision to sever its egotistical connection with my vestigial self on earth in order to better survive in its own unique environment, in order to better reproduce, in order to possibly press conflict upon its former self when resources run short and its own offspring are launched to discover already occupied celestial bodies?

Right now, I am a very thoughtful complex of consciousness and action.

I wrote an mIRC script to generate and echo URLs for players who are !updated in #qlranks.

In menu Tools, select Script Editor, and then select the Remote tab. Append the following starting on a new line if necessary:

on *qlr*:TEXT:*>> * has been updated.*:#qlranks:{
/echo #qlranks -
/echo #qlranks http://www.qlranks.com/duel/player/ $+ $2
/echo #qlranks -
}

Now, when qlr reports that a user has been updated:

[19:39] -> *qlr* !update ins
[19:39] <@qlr> >> ins found in database. Scanning recent games
[19:39] <@qlr> >> ins has been updated. 71 matches scanned. Elo: 1708-->1708 Rank: 218-->218
-
http://www.qlranks.com/duel/player/ins
-

The link to the profile is echoed. This way users can quickly access the player stats page. I hope the link is just added to qlr's update text, so this script becomes obsolete.

Edit: You can substitute your in-game nickname for an asterisk in the first line, such as:

on *qlr*:TEXT:*>> brandan has been updated.*:#qlranks:{

or

on *qlr*:TEXT:*>> ralpha has been updated.*:#qlranks:{

This will ensure the script is executed only when that player name is updated.

If there's any interest in posting times that you find awesome frags or fights or exchanges or whatever, maybe one thread containing all interested users' moments would be useful for anybody who wants to create clips?

Anyway, if anybody wants to do that, it'd be okay to do it in my thread.*

* All posts become my property.

thoughts?

Stop nuking and deleting content that is inoffensive and is nowhere near in violation of posting guidelines. The breathing room admins were given to censor posts was not license to edit content to suit your tastes. Thanks for your understanding.

Gametype: Duel
Map: ztntourney1 - Blood Run
Mod: N/A
Viewpoint: brandan
Version info: dm_73
How to play back QL demos


Second game trying to play against a newer player without picking up items and > 5 health bubbles.

Dear xou,

Thank-you for your contributions to the ESR community. Your hard work is very much appreciated.

Sincerely,
The ESR Staff & Community

It's hard to enjoy the game when there are only 5-6 duels going on, and no players around will provide a suitable challenge. For when there are only very new players around and the rest are too hard to be worth playing, I opt to play the new players, but restrict myself to shards and 5 health bubbles.

During these games, I find myself mostly focusing on where my opponent is, and because of that, where I can and should go. By removing the concern for item control, I have given myself extra time and energy to make better positioning decisions.

I also exercise greater discrimination when initiating fights, and try to find opportunities to deal damage without reciprocation. There is greater emphasis on making shots count, because the opponent has to respect my damage output. If he knows that I am constantly low and he knows that I cannot deal enough damage to defend myself, he'll have no motivation to question his impulse to attack.

Paying attention to the opponent's health is much easier. It can be assumed that when he escapes a confrontation, he will have access to resources with which to replenish his vital stats. This means that when I choose to fight, I must be sure that I can deal enough damage to frag him or anticipate his escape route to attack him before obtaining health.

Because I am focusing on creating distance until I'm ready to attack, there are less random encounters, meaning that the health I obtain is not wasted on chance encounters where reflex and aim are the major factors dictating outcomes. I can spend time positioning myself around key items and dealing damage when they're approached, and will always have a good general idea of what to expect in the game, because my decisions are ultimately directing his.

These games are also good for the newer players, because the players aren't discouraged by missing items and constant bombardment. When you avoid rushing with a huge stack all the time, the opponent can never be sure what choke point your next attack will come from. Rather than feeling constantly prepared to fight by expecting a fight at any time, the opponent must remain cautious and wonder whether or not moving into a particular position will result in taking damage without being to deal any in return. New players are then engaged in the game, rather than disconnecting themselves from obvious failure. Both players are working on very specific aspects of the game, rather than attempting to practice every aspect of duel, which is more productive and consistent than shifting your attention from one element to another to another for the duration of the match, ultimately forgetting more than you learn, and really never learning much at all.

I have also been playing games on European servers. In the high ping games, taking items is the biggest concern. Restricting resources is the only way to make damage meaningful. With 200-300 ping comes the inability to deal consistent damage. Dealing 50 damage is pointless when an opponent can replenish his health without the threat of efficient followup.

It's also necessary to avoid being confronted by hitscan weapons, so the game tends to turn to caution and item control, but the opponent can remain reckless due to the less predictable and manageable nature of high ping weaponry. This added layer of potential rape that comes a fifth of a second before it's really experienced results in rewards for enemy positional awareness and positioning yourself efficiently for escape and unrequited damage dealing.

Here is a demo of the second game I tried to play without grabbing powerups. I think I accidentally picked up two 25hp bubbles when dodging around RA tele.

http://www.esreality.com/?a=post&id=2181102

Whoever it is that keeps changing my account status to admin, would you please fucking stop? I'm not interested in joining your little clique. Ride or die.

----------------------
8748 files in pk3 files
:DDDd brandan: Get out of the queue, please.
:DDDd brandan: Conducting a test.
:DDDd brandan: For QL.
Cookie_Jar: D: do it somewhere else?
Cookie_Jar: .....
noodlebrain: conducting a care
noodlebrain: oh wait
noodlebrain: nvm
:DDDd brandan: Do you want to be banned?
:DDDd brandan: I know syncerrors.
bretterson: i think you'd have the power to kick us
Cookie_Jar: no, but we're teaching someone how to play.
:DDDd brandan: I'm not so petty.
:DDDd brandan: If you don't comply, you will be banned.
bretterson: but you're petty enough to tell us to leave
:DDDd brandan: But you won't know when.
bretterson: cute
:DDDd brandan: So you'll have to live with the impending fear.
noodlebrain: so you're not petty enough to kick us but you're petty enough
to ban us
Cookie_Jar: xD
:DDDd brandan: Well let me run around.
noodlebrain: you're an ass
:DDDd brandan: And help teach.
noodlebrain: i'd rather you ban me
noodlebrain: than stay in this server with us
noodlebrain: faggot
:DDDd brandan: Come on, I'm just playing.
noodlebrain: that's what i thought
Cookie_Jar: lol.
:DDDd brandan: No it's not.
:DDDd brandan: You're so mad.
:DDDd brandan: Let me run around and shoot stuff.
:DDDd brandan: We're friends now.
bretterson called a vote.
noodlebrain: call the vote brett
You may not participate in this vote.
noodlebrain: come on nina
Vote passed.
:DDDd brandan: You're mean.
noodlebrain: f1 dat shiet
brandan was kicked
RE_Shutdown( 0 )
Hunk_Clear: reset the hunk ok
----- R_Init -----

Thoughts?

It was recently announced that admins would be less inhibited by community desires when making decisions about how to handle content that violates the posting guidelines. For long-time users of ESR, violently vocal disagreement with the administration is not new. The site has been targeted by disenfranchised users many times in the past, myself included. Tyryl, SiT, myself, and some others have exploited and defaced the site, sometimes excusing our behavior by referencing our disapproval of administrative behavior, other times just being destructive for entertainment and education.

I'm disappointed by my stupidity. Though I still feel as strongly about administrative abuse, my approach to preventing it has become much more practical. Attacking the site has never worked in the past, and has ultimately resulted in a less enjoyable experience for new users. Because of previous exploits, the site now has a premoderation system to combat potential spam and vulgar content. This premoderation inhibits the registration and participation of new users. The entire site suffers for the actions of a few.

So in what way will users suffer in the future because of these new attacks? Will ESR disappear completely, and all my effort to reverse modifications to the site due to past harm be rendered wasted effort? Another failure due to my lack of foresight that I must ignore and forget in order to move on with my life in some new direction?

How could I have ever justified attacking this site in the past, if not by being deluded enough by my own self-importance to grant myself the capacity to dehumanize everybody using the site? The web is a vastly different place now than it was 8 years ago. There are real consequences for such decisions now. The internet has become a vital aspect of nearly every person on this entire planet's life.

Criticism and vocalization of dissatisfaction are to be expected in any system, and the capacity to make these things public should be defended. Such vocalization can cause negative public perception, but this is an issue that any authority must endure, especially when challenging the status quo. Attacking the site is the easiest and laziest way to satisfy a desire for gratification. Any user can hunt for ways to damage the site, cause problems, and then slink away without facing any consequences, but it requires true dedication to be a user on probation trying to convey a message, or an administrator working to improve a unsatisfactory system. I may not agree with some users or admins, but I respect any of them who still possess a desire to express their opinions without resorting to the infantile fulfillment that comes from abusing and attacking users and the site, and I am happy to continue to try to understand the way all these interactions between different people work so that I may collaborate with others to develop a more satisfying system.

Playing this game is like participating in a shitty 80s underdog movie where random assholes trumpet their stupidity to the amusement of cackling, jackal-like cronies.

If you still play Quake, you're wasting your life. The game is genetically similar to the backwoods of some Alabama commune, where cart paths are still being formed.

ESR is proud to announce the Choose Another Game to Play That is Worth Investing Time In (CAGPTWIT - Kagg put wit). Winner gets nothing, losers have to face the harsh reality of their inferiority, and everybody in general wastes a little more of these precious moments in their brief lives on an activity with a negative productive value.

I like Counter-Strike. Bye.

Why are they so mad?

[13:43] <Lions\th0> http://www.wtfnoway.com/
[13:43] <Lions\th0> hahaah
[13:47] * morfie ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout)
[13:47] * Slawyer ([email protected]) Quit (EOF from client)
[13:49] <xXbrandanXx666> I don't see why it's such a big issue.
[13:49] <xXbrandanXx666> The U.S. is the greatest country on earth.
[13:50] <xXbrandanXx666> Best health care, best environment, best schools, best foods, best government, best military, best debt.
[13:50] <Lions\th0> heheheeh ye :P
[13:52] <izzd> replace best with worst :D
[13:52] <Lions\th0> =)
[13:52] <Lions\th0> they might have a bether military then my country. but the rest is far bether here :P
[13:52] <Lions\th0> but i like america
[13:53] <Lions\th0> but it might be smart to pull out of the endless wars now. and spend more on its own
[13:53] <Samomysl> Or just spend less.
[13:53] <xXbrandanXx666> Nah, we need more wars to drive more domestic production.
[13:54] <Lions\th0> i know
[13:54] <xXbrandanXx666> Also stricter drug laws and illegalized abortion.
[13:54] <Lions\th0> but atm its not running it
[13:54] <Lions\th0> to mutch wars in to little time
[13:54] <xXbrandanXx666> Not enough wars.
[13:54] * Meadows ([email protected]) has joined #quakelive
[13:54] <Meadows> who in their right mind would want to make abortion illegal
[13:54] <xXbrandanXx666> Each soldier is a job created.
[13:54] <xXbrandanXx666> The more soldiers, the more jobs.
[13:55] <xXbrandanXx666> The more jobs, the better the economy.
[13:55] <xXbrandanXx666> It's very simple.
[13:55] <Samomysl> Milton Brandan.
[13:55] <Meadows> yes and who pays the soldiers
[13:55] <xXbrandanXx666> The military.
[13:55] <Lions\th0> they dont earn anything. make piss amount of money
[13:55] <Meadows> who pays the military
[13:55] <Samomysl> Brandan Keynes.
[13:55] <Lions\th0> get them in to a real job
[13:55] <Meadows> no
[13:55] <Candlejack> Except soldiers generate no captical and no profit
[13:55] <Meadows> exactly
[13:55] <Candlejack> Like every government job
[13:55] <Meadows> they're like communist mass workplaces, they're useless
[13:55] <xXbrandanXx666> By securing countries against terrorism, they open up jobs in oil and construction.
[13:56] <xXbrandanXx666> Exclusive contracts for U.S. companies, like Haliburton.
[13:56] <Meadows> because oil and construction goes against terrorism directly
[13:56] <Candlejack> Level a country so we can profit from building it back up? B rilliant
[13:56] <Meadows> is Bush your uncle?
[13:56] <Lions\th0> We have oil without the wars
[13:56] <Lions\th0> :D
[13:56] <Candlejack> Oil sucks
[13:56] <Samomysl> We have potatoes.
[13:56] <xXbrandanXx666> It's called war, the point isn't to make friends.
[13:56] <Meadows> no Candlejack, we suck oil
[13:56] <xXbrandanXx666> Kill the people and take their things.
[13:56] <Meadows> you know, like soviet russia
[13:56] <xXbrandanXx666> So we can have better stuff.
[13:56] <Candlejack> The average car use to get 70 miles to the gallon
[13:56] <xXbrandanXx666> Citation needed.
[13:56] <Meadows> how about you grow the fcuk up, and develop yourself to have better stuff
[13:57] <Candlejack> Now they brag about 30 miles to the gallon
[13:57] <Meadows> war is always the cheapass way in Civilization
[13:57] <xXbrandanXx666> Yeah, so?
[13:57] <Meadows> so you're a cheapass and a hillbilly
[13:57] <xXbrandanXx666> The universe is not a friendly place.
[13:57] <xXbrandanXx666> Conflict is necessary at all times.
[13:57] <Candlejack> We should nuke china to the ground to get rid of our dept
[13:57] <Meadows> so make it intellectual conflict
[13:57] <Candlejack> Who's gonna miss them
[13:57] <xXbrandanXx666> Intellectual conflict?
[13:57] <Samomysl> Cold war-like.
[13:57] <Meadows> physical conflict is for morons
[13:57] <xXbrandanXx666> You propose a math contest to determine who gets oil?
[13:58] <Candlejack> No, quake tournement
[13:58] <xXbrandanXx666> Physical conflict has real consequences.
[13:58] <Meadows> exactly
[13:58] <xXbrandanXx666> How could an 'intellectual' conflict have results?
[13:58] <Meadows> simple
[13:58] <xXbrandanXx666> Or how could anybody be held to them?
[13:58] <Meadows> by developing technology that doesn't rely on oil
[13:58] <xXbrandanXx666> People must die.
[13:58] <Meadows> that's one way
[13:58] <xXbrandanXx666> The people who die the most are the least likely to defend themselves.
[13:58] <xXbrandanXx666> Because they are dead.
[13:58] <xXbrandanXx666> That is how war works.
[13:58] <xXbrandanXx666> If you don't like it, perhaps you should grow up.
[13:59] <Meadows> I am grown up, that's why I'm not excited by the prospects of any war
[13:59] <Meadows> back when I was an impressionable kid, I was like "woah, cool war"
[13:59] <xXbrandanXx666> Developing new technology requires oil.
[13:59] <Meadows> no it doesn't
[13:59] <Meadows> unless you want a new type of plastic
[13:59] <xXbrandanXx666> Are you so shortsighted?
[13:59] <Meadows> are you?
[14:00] <xXbrandanXx666> Am I?
[14:00] <Meadows> you're like a grumpy grandad with a fixed line like "oil, oil, everything needs oil, don't tell me otherwise,
I know better, back in my day..."
[14:00] <xXbrandanXx666> The war kills terrorists, gives the U.S. jobs, creates international stability, and secures resources.
[14:00] <Candlejack> Plastic doesn't require oil
[14:00] <xXbrandanXx666> You're upset because you're not an American.
[14:00] <xXbrandanXx666> It's understandable.
[14:01] <Candlejack> Or at least, there's something like plastic that doesn't need oil
[14:01] <Meadows> Candlejack, where do you imagine most plastic comes from
[14:01] <Candlejack> Oil is still too damn cheap for alternatives to be worth a shit
[14:01] <Meadows> I'm not upset
[14:02] <xXbrandanXx666> It's true. If wars were too expensive for the benefit of oils, do you think the people in power would
wage them?
[14:02] <Meadows> I'm trying to beat some goddamn sense into you
[14:02] <Candlejack> You can bet your ass the moment it becomes unprofitable, capitalism will kick in and we'll have ethanol
powered everything
[14:02] <xXbrandanXx666> They wouldn't, because they are our representatives.
[14:02] <Meadows> but you're a moron, BECAUSE you're American
[14:02] <Meadows> it's understandable
[14:02] <Candlejack> Nebraska will become rich
[14:02] <xXbrandanXx666> So you're generalizing an entire civilization?
[14:02] <Meadows> no, I'm generalising the waste product of the UK
[14:02] <xXbrandanXx666> This is your level of grown up argumentation?
[14:02] <Meadows> not a civilisation, no
[14:02] <xXbrandanXx666> The UK, which has its people of power placed there by the U.S.?
[14:03] <sfxer> ethanol powered everything would be disasterous
[14:03] <xXbrandanXx666> With its receding chins and incestuous tendencies?
[14:03] <Meadows> how would you know, sfxer
[14:03] <sfxer> it took 30% of the corn produce in the USA to supplement 10% of the gasoline in your car now
[14:03] <sfxer> ...
[14:03] <Candlejack> We could fuel half the cars in america with the ethanol that you could make from discarded corn
[14:03] <Meadows> because corn is inefficient
[14:03] <Meadows> they're actively developing other ways
[14:03] <Meadows> and they SHOULD
[14:03] <sfxer> uhh, we don't have enough corn is my point.
[14:03] <xXbrandanXx666> They?
[14:03] <xXbrandanXx666> Who is they, Meadows?
[14:03] <Meadows> biofuel researchers
[14:04] <sfxer> we have enough corn to replace a little over a 1/3 of our oil need.
[14:04] <xXbrandanXx666> Where?
[14:04] <Meadows> last I was reading, they tried to make fuel from cellulose directly
[14:04] <sfxer> and if we did that
[14:04] <xXbrandanXx666> Which biofuel researchers?
[14:04] <sfxer> we'd have no food
[14:04] <Candlejack> We can't do it yet, but ways to process the WHOLE cob is being worked on
[14:04] <xXbrandanXx666> You're an Internet genius, Meadows.
[14:04] <Meadows> if I remembered the names of everyone, xXbrandanXx666, I'd be a fscking idiot
[14:04] <xXbrandanXx666> Damn the real world.
[14:04] <Meadows> just go to arstechnica daily and you'll be smarter
[14:04] <Meadows> it IS the real world
[14:04] <Meadows> idiot
[14:04] <Meadows> maybe there will be still oil by the time you're dead, but fcuk your kids, right? obviously
[14:04] <xXbrandanXx666> Keep dreaming.
[14:04] <Meadows> and I'm shortsighted
[14:04] <Meadows> pathetic
[14:04] <Meadows> you're pitiful
[14:05] <xXbrandanXx666> One day the U.S. will have power, and your grandchildren will be begging for meat pies.
[14:05] <Samomysl> And your upset, Meadows.
[14:05] <Candlejack> There's also the option of making cars more efficient, but that won't happen unless the secret contracts
between the oil companies and car manufacturers goes away
[14:05] <Meadows> yes I am, Sam
[14:05] <xXbrandanXx666> From a wood burning oven.
[14:05] <Meadows> this guy is ridiculous
[14:05] <Meadows> r
[14:05] <Meadows> i
[14:05] <Meadows> d
[14:05] <Meadows> i
[14:05] <Meadows> c
[14:05] <Meadows> u
[14:05] <Meadows> l
[14:05] <Meadows> o
[14:05] <Meadows> u
[14:05] <Meadows> s
[14:05] <xXbrandanXx666> Please sir, spare a pork pie for my sister?
[14:05] <Samomysl> So that's how it's spelt.
[14:05] <Meadows> yes, why yes it is
[14:06] <Meadows> xXbrandanXx666, "one day the US will have power"?
[14:06] <Candlejack> My dads unimog has better fucking mileage than a ford pick up.
[14:06] * Q sets mode: +b *!*@cpe-66-61-48-166.neo.res.rr.com
[14:06] * Candlejack was kicked by Q (3hr Tempban)
[14:06] <Meadows> keep dreaming
[14:06] * Tu is now known as TuboRgAz
[14:07] <Samomysl> This thought is scary, Meadows, but it seems to me that you're slowly becoming me.
[14:08] <Meadows> what makes you believe so?
[14:08] <xXbrandanXx666> Meadows, when the U.S. is burning oil for electricity, you will be a dirty old man on a street corner
preaching to the world the coming of the natural resources revolution.
[14:08] <Lam> Samomysl: CZEGO!!!
[14:08] <Samomysl> You're doing what I have been doing for past two years now. Trolling, making people swear and get kicked when
they don't want to...
[14:08] <xXbrandanXx666> As your country burns wood for warmth.
[14:09] <Meadows> xXbrandanXx666, the US is already burning oil for electricity
[14:09] <Samomysl> Lam: <hhdehdhd> Multigaming vTm Poszukuje 1 gracza który b&#281;dzie nas reprezentowa&#322; w quake live ,wi&#281;cej info
priv!
[14:09] <xXbrandanXx666> That's right, Meadows.
[14:09] <Meadows> at least any time they're not burning coal and killing workers with it
[14:09] <xXbrandanXx666> Killing workers?
[14:09] <Meadows> so I don't get your point
[14:09] <xXbrandanXx666> Clean coal provides safe power to the country.
[14:09] <Meadows> coal power kills more people than all other forms of power combined, and it's still in use
[14:09] <Meadows> clean coal is an oxymoron
[14:09] <xXbrandanXx666> It is the most clean technology ever invented.
[14:09] <Lam> Samomysl: that's BS
[14:10] <Meadows> nuclear is the cleanest source of power today
[14:10] <xXbrandanXx666> You could put a clean coal processing plant in a hospital and nobody would know.
[14:10] <Meadows> and the least hazardous
[14:10] <Meadows> causes the least amount of cancer
[14:10] <Meadows> operates with the highest yield
[14:10] <xXbrandanXx666> Is it? Let's ask Japan and Russia about that.
[14:10] <Samomysl> Why Russia?
[14:10] <xXbrandanXx666> They will tell you "No, Meadows, indeed it is not."
[14:10] <Meadows> because Japan is already working on Fusion, and because Russians don't heat
[14:10] <Meadows> who are they?
[14:10] <Meadows> xxb
[14:10] <Meadows> xXbrandanXx666,
[14:11] <xXbrandanXx666> Russia, the country.
[14:11] <xXbrandanXx666> And Japan.
[14:11] <Meadows> where will they say that?
[14:11] <xXbrandanXx666> All of its citizens.
[14:11] <Meadows> [citation needed]
[14:11] <xXbrandanXx666> They will say it on IRC.
[14:11] <Meadows> [citation needed]
[14:11] <xXbrandanXx666> When you grow the courage to ask.
[14:11] <Meadows> [citation needed]
[14:11] <xXbrandanXx666> When you don't hide behind your theoretical criticisms of the people who provide for you the comforts
that allow you to argue against them so vehemently on the Internet.
[14:11] <xXbrandanXx666> :(
[14:11] <Meadows> you do realise you're full of shit, right?
[14:11] <Meadows> I mean, you have got to realise it at some point
[14:11] <xXbrandanXx666> You are so rude and crude.
[14:12] <Samomysl> I do now.
[14:12] <Meadows> arguing against nuclear power is possibly the weakest stance you can ever take
[14:12] <Meadows> and you just took it
[14:12] <Meadows> you must realise you're full of it
[14:12] <Samomysl> Your.
[14:12] <xXbrandanXx666> Nuclear power is an aberration in the eyes of God.
[14:12] <Meadows> I see, you're trolling
[14:12] <xXbrandanXx666> Trolling?
[14:12] <Meadows> nobody takes power and religion seriously at the same time
[14:12] <Meadows> you're just trolling
[14:12] <xXbrandanXx666> Is that what it means when anybody has an opinion that is different than yours?
[14:12] <Meadows> end of discussion, it's been fun
[14:13] <xXbrandanXx666> You lack respect for disparate ideas.
[14:13] <Meadows> go back to 4chan and troll someplace else
[14:13] <Meadows> so Sam, where were we
[14:13] <xXbrandanXx666> That's so typical.
[14:13] <Samomysl> You're becoming me, that is, the main troll of this channel.
[14:13] <Samomysl> That's my thought.
[14:13] <xXbrandanXx666> You lack a valid premise, and so you toss out the red herring/ad hominems.
[14:13] <Meadows> you're like David Hasselhoff, Sam
[14:14] <Meadows> as in, I would never want to become you
[14:14] <xXbrandanXx666> Once again the U.S. triumphs in the face of adversity.
[14:14] <Meadows> okay, I will bite, xXbrandanXx666, but only because you're a sparkling fag
[14:14] <Samomysl> Hey, isn't that you, sotrix?
[14:14] <Meadows> where is this God whose eyes you're talking about
[14:14] <Meadows> since you clearly can't raise a valid argument against nuclear
[14:14] <xXbrandanXx666> Where is he?
[14:14] <Meadows> yes
[14:14] <Meadows> [citation needed]
[14:14] <xXbrandanXx666> He is all around, in everything.
[14:15] <Meadows> no
[14:15] <Meadows> where is he
[14:15] <xXbrandanXx666> No?
[14:15] <Meadows> no
[14:15] <xXbrandanXx666> He's in you, and in me.
[14:15] <Meadows> no
[14:15] <Meadows> where is he
[14:15] <xXbrandanXx666> Over there.
[14:15] <Meadows> no
[14:15] <xXbrandanXx666> Right here.
[14:15] <Meadows> where is he
[14:15] * Meadows ([email protected]) Quit (Killed (*.quakenet.org (You are violating network rules, ID:
42742961)))
[14:15] * TuboRgAz ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout)
[14:15] <xXbrandanXx666> GG.
[14:15] <Samomysl> Buy, buy, Meadows.
[14:15] * Meadows ([email protected]) has joined #quakelive
[14:15] <Meadows> still can't hear you
[14:16] <xXbrandanXx666> Whoa, he is risen.
[14:16] <Meadows> waiting for the answer
[14:16] <Meadows> you have yet to provide it
[14:16] <xXbrandanXx666> Which answer?
[14:16] <Samomysl> Moses supposes his toes are roses.
[14:16] <Meadows> where this "god" aberration of your mind resides
[14:16] <xXbrandanXx666> A lack of evidence is not evidence.
[14:16] <markusarailias> from who
[14:16] <Meadows> exactly, xXbrandanXx666
[14:16] <Meadows> that's why I'm demanding evidence, not a lack of it
[14:16] <xXbrandanXx666> Evidence of what?
[14:17] <Meadows> good lord your attention span's short as your penis
[14:17] <xXbrandanXx666> The very premise of God is that he needs not be evident.
[14:17] <xXbrandanXx666> You're not allowing yourself to accept that premise, because you are afraid.
[14:17] <xXbrandanXx666> Your cowardice is evident.
[14:17] <Meadows> any other excuses you have read that conveniently sidestep the burden of having to explain god?
[14:17] <markusarailias> i agree
[14:17] <Meadows> I would love to hear the rest of them
[14:17] <xXbrandanXx666> I don't have to explain God, and why should I?
[14:17] <Meadows> because you believe in him
[14:17] <xXbrandanXx666> So?
[14:17] <Meadows> I can explain every single thing I believe in
[14:17] <markusarailias> farmers dont play quakelive
[14:18] <xXbrandanXx666> You can?
[14:18] <Meadows> if you believe in something you can't explain, it's either in your head, or it's a superstition
[14:18] <xXbrandanXx666> Explain the chemical process by which ethanol is derived.
[14:18] <xXbrandanXx666> Starting with the beginning of the universe.
[14:18] <xXbrandanXx666> As Carl Sagan might say.
[14:18] <Meadows> I'll read up on it
[14:18] <xXbrandanXx666> No you won't.
[14:18] <Meadows> and then I will be able to
[14:18] <Meadows> but no matter how much you read up on god, you will not be able to explain him
[14:18] <Samomysl> Honor is neither in my head, nor a superstition.
[14:18] <markusarailias> i can explain it all but not here its a long story
[14:18] <xXbrandanXx666> You'll pretend to, then in typically lazy fashion just assume you're correct for the sake of your ego.
[14:18] <xXbrandanXx666> While the rest of the world works to provide you with your comforts.
[14:19] <markusarailias> oh no sir i have partners too
[14:19] <Meadows> I will disallow you to change the topic back
[14:19] <Meadows> explain god
[14:19] <xXbrandanXx666> I could just as well explain magic.
[14:19] <Meadows> I'm impervious to many forms of trolling, so go ahead
[14:19] <xXbrandanXx666> How could the fish explain the ocean, Meadows?
[14:19] <Meadows> nobody's asking them
[14:19] <eraser> magic is an illusion tho
[14:19] <Meadows> I'm asking you to explain god
[14:19] <markusarailias> adobe, microsoft, utube, facebook ect
[14:19] <eraser> it doesnt claim to be real
[14:19] <Meadows> so stick to it, or leave the channel
[14:20] <xXbrandanXx666> Whoa.
[14:20] <markusarailias> quakenetr
[14:20] <xXbrandanXx666> You are not the lord of #quakelive.
[14:20] <xXbrandanXx666> To dictate who may stay.
[14:20] <markusarailias> no sir
[14:20] <Samomysl> Correct.
[14:20] <Samomysl> I am.
[14:20] <Meadows> irrelevant
[14:20] <xXbrandanXx666> You present either/or fallacies while you pretend to care for logic and argumentation.
[14:20] <markusarailias> samomysl partner
[14:20] <Meadows> I asked you a question, and you have taken every opportunity in existence to sidestep it
[14:20] <xXbrandanXx666> Your mind is flawed.
[14:20] <Meadows> if there's any weakness to focus on, it's with you
[14:20] <xXbrandanXx666> You are sick, Meadows. Probably possessed.
[14:21] <markusarailias> ask him
[14:21] <Meadows> allow me to ask again, explain god
[14:21] * markusarailias is now known as nighttimepunk
[14:21] <Meadows> feel free to sidestep it once more
[14:21] <xXbrandanXx666> I told you, Meadows. You may just as well ask a fish to explain the ocean.
[14:21] <Meadows> exactly
[14:21] <xXbrandanXx666> I am but a slippery fish.
[14:21] <Meadows> let's try again: explain god
[14:21] <xXbrandanXx666> I live within one region of the ocean, that which supports me and that which I may see.
[14:21] <nighttimepunk> ok ill explain , im boss you player
[14:21] <xXbrandanXx666> What can I say even of sharks, let alone of whales?
[14:22] <Meadows> nothing, I asked you to explain god
[14:22] <Meadows> you might as well give it your best shot
[14:22] <xXbrandanXx666> My best shot would fall infinitely far from God's greatness.
[14:22] <xXbrandanXx666> It would be an insult to our lord.
[14:22] <Meadows> invalid reply - how about this: explain god
[14:22] <nighttimepunk> cant help but try , its all embeded
[14:22] <xXbrandanXx666> Mine will not be the fingers to sully his good name.
[14:22] <Meadows> he doesn't have a good name, I think god is pretty terrible on the tongue
[14:22] <eraser> are you a creationist?
[14:22] <xXbrandanXx666> Suffice to say, Meadows, your expectation that God can be explained is begging the question.
[14:23] <nighttimepunk> yea your right
[14:23] <Meadows> there's no question to beg
[14:23] <xXbrandanXx666> You are, for all your professions of logic, an illogical person.
[14:23] <Meadows> you're begging MY question
[14:23] <Meadows> instead of answering it
[14:23] <Meadows> where is god?
[14:23] <nighttimepunk> but at the same time your pretty worthless too
[14:23] <xXbrandanXx666> Full of spiteful ad hominem and ignorance-embracing bifurcation.
[14:23] <Meadows> invalid reply, where is god?
[14:23] <nighttimepunk> wise guy huh
[14:23] <eraser> if you believe in god
[14:23] <eraser> isnt it like a sin
[14:23] <xXbrandanXx666> A troll, obfuscating valuable conversation with your Wikipedia education.
[14:23] <xXbrandanXx666> Go back to 4chan, Meadows.
[14:23] <eraser> to have the 'devils number' in your name?
[14:23] <xXbrandanXx666> Where you belong.
[14:24] <Meadows> an education is better than none, xXbrandanXx666
[14:24] <Meadows> I bet if I believed in god, I could even tell you what he is
[14:24] <nighttimepunk> im at the top where i belong
[14:24] <Meadows> I'm a well read person
[14:24] <xXbrandanXx666> Please, tell us more about yourself, Meadows.
[14:24] <xXbrandanXx666> You sound like a very interesting person.
[14:24] <eraser> can you answer my question xXbrandanXx666?
[14:24] <Meadows> change of subject not allowed
[14:24] <Meadows> tell us where god is
[14:24] <nighttimepunk> hes a snipe hunter
[14:25] <xXbrandanXx666> eraser, 666 is not the number of the beast.
[14:25] <xXbrandanXx666> God is everywhere, Meadows.
[14:25] <Samomysl> 777 is.
[14:25] <xXbrandanXx666> In everything.
[14:25] * chumbo`off is now known as chumbo
[14:25] <eraser> god is camping railgun on dm6
[14:25] <xXbrandanXx666> I've answered three times now.
[14:25] <Meadows> he must be from string theory then
[14:25] <xXbrandanXx666> You refuse my answer without consideration.
[14:25] <Meadows> how many dimensions is he traversing?
[14:25] <xXbrandanXx666> So, you believe in string theory?
[14:25] <xXbrandanXx666> All dimensions, Meadows, obviously.
[14:26] <xXbrandanXx666> Are you so simple that this concept eludes you?
[14:26] <eraser> does god have a beard?
[14:26] <Meadows> lol
[14:26] <xXbrandanXx666> Yes, a great beard.
[14:26] <Meadows> good one
[14:26] <Meadows> does he wear slippers?
[14:26] <eraser> wicked
[14:26] <Meadows> does he have hands, feet, or a nose?
[14:26] <@SyncError|home> +m ?
[14:26] <xXbrandanXx666> Yes and no.
[14:26] <Meadows> does he have hair?
[14:26] <Meadows> I wonder if god needs glasses
[14:26] <nighttimepunk> lol its the beard tv
[14:26] <Meadows> does he wear a toga or a cape?
[14:26] <xXbrandanXx666> Both and none.
[14:26] <Meadows> how old is god?
[14:27] <Meadows> why would he make adam and eve?
[14:27] <xXbrandanXx666> As old as everything and young as nothing.
[14:27] <Meadows> and why wouldn't eve love wall-e at first?
[14:27] <eraser> how old is everything?
[14:27] <xXbrandanXx666> How can I claim to speak for God's decisions?
[14:27] <xXbrandanXx666> How old is nothing, eraser?
[14:27] <eraser> nothing has no age
[14:27] <Meadows> nothing is nothing
[14:27] <eraser> cos its nothing
[14:27] <Meadows> it's a logical construct used to describe void
[14:27] <xXbrandanXx666> Void is nothing?
[14:27] <Meadows> like a point in geometry
[14:27] <Meadows> a point doesn't exist
[14:27] <Meadows> it's a logical construct to denote a position in a system
[14:27] <xXbrandanXx666> So God is a point?
[14:27] <Meadows> same with "nothing"
[14:27] <Meadows> nothing is nothing
[14:27] * MG|tucker ([email protected]) Quit (Read error: EOF from client)
[14:28] <xXbrandanXx666> A position in no space?
[14:28] <nighttimepunk> its a distraction to the supernova about to come
[14:28] <Meadows> one day you will learn to read, and stop taking lines out of context
[14:28] <Meadows> until then, I will leave you bewildered
[14:28] <xXbrandanXx666> One day you will learn to speak, and not regurgitate concepts you've briefly glanced over on Wikipedia
and Reddit athiesm forums.
[14:28] <nighttimepunk> meadows you need some weed
[14:29] <xXbrandanXx666> We are brothers, Meadows.
[14:29] <Meadows> I don't visit reddit
[14:29] <Meadows> no we're not
[14:29] <Meadows> if we were, you'd get beat up
[14:29] <Samomysl> Sisters, then.
[14:29] <xXbrandanXx666> Brothers under God's love.
[14:29] <Meadows> where is god
[14:29] <xXbrandanXx666> Everywhere, Meadows, and nowhere.
[14:29] <Meadows> oxymoron
[14:29] <Meadows> where is god
[14:29] <xXbrandanXx666> Precisely.
[14:29] <nighttimepunk> withen the entity
[14:30] <xXbrandanXx666> You denounce me for your own inability to understand basic concepts of the universe.
[14:30] <Meadows> we can keep going on like this, it's quite entertaining I have to admit
[14:30] <xXbrandanXx666> It is sad to watch, and I pity you, but I love you.
[14:30] <xXbrandanXx666> Brother.
[14:30] <Meadows> watching you scrambling to pull together some argument
[14:30] <Meadows> then failing midways
[14:30] <Samomysl> Failing meadows.
[14:30] <Meadows> even worse, you claim to love a stranger, as one of christian fame
[14:30] <xXbrandanXx666> You remind me of myself when I was young, Meadows.
[14:30] <nighttimepunk> but what was that but mere failure of discontent
[14:31] <Meadows> famous for being the most hateful, spiteful and prejudiced people in the world
[14:31] <xXbrandanXx666> Impressionable, enthusiastic to show the world my intelligence.
[14:31] <Meadows> right next to muslims
[14:31] <xXbrandanXx666> Then I found God's infinite love.
[14:31] <Meadows> you know nothing about love
[14:31] <Meadows> nothing at all
[14:31] * xXbrandanXx666 hugs Meadows.
[14:31] <Samomysl> Guys, you make too much sense.
[14:31] <xXbrandanXx666> The universe is not a cold, dead place.
[14:31] * SyncError|home sets mode: +m
[14:31] <@SyncError|home> And that wraps up today's amazing lesson on Theology.
[14:32] <@SyncError|home> Everyone do your homework and have completed your assigned reading before next week's lesson.
[14:32] * SyncError|home sets mode: -m
[14:32] <nighttimepunk> next week you wont see me
[14:33] <Meadows> I will try my damnedest to miss you

Much of humanity would fail without constant maintenance. Roads quickly become riddled with holes, sidewalks are worn to the reinforcement (if there even is any), and endeavors are cast into obscurity by the advance of humanity's aspirations.

I am intimately familiar with criticism and delusional assumption of negativity, two requisite components of a miserable life of failure and self-loathing. The inability to succeed is fed by the lack of desire to participate due to the recognition of the ultimate destined failure of seemingly everything.

This mindset is a bit irrational, and I'm not going to concern myself with how or why I came into possession of it. What I will address, though, is how it is irrational, and how I consciously counter it.

For instance, I am currently encoding and compressing my physical mind into some language stored in an electronic format. Nothing is exploding, nothing is disappearing. So far as I know in any given moment, things are going as I expect them to. That's nice. This is a representation of a very important aspect of this reality: things do work, even they don't always work how we conceive of them; even if they evolve to be unrecognizable.

Playing Quake can be an annoying process. Not understanding how or why I fail sends my mind into a downward spiral of far-fetched assumption. Was that person cheating? Was I playing poorly? Is the game horrible? Should I be playing easier opponents? What was I doing wrong? What were they doing right?

These are all unanswerable questions. The simple truth is that the game exists in its current state, and the same rules apply to all players alike. It is, in a sense, its own self-contained reality. The answers to these questions are not immediately apparent to me, and that is something I am not happy with. I like to know things. Knowing things means you can make better decisions.

It's simple to quit a game of QL, or anything really, with the assumption that it isn't worth investing any more effort into. What's the point of this game? What's the point of being successful in it, or of even desiring to play competently? Why should I even bother, when I am so unsure of whether or not the people I am playing are even legitimate? What's the point of paving roads when they begin to crumble? They will only continue to crumble into the future, and nobody really appreciates them anyway.

In truth, all that matters is whether or not the game has some value to me that outweighs its detrimental aspects. It's the same for anything. Is it worth investing the time to play or work? Already I find myself realizing that QL has given me access to a deep insight into some very deep flaws in my character. The ability to dream up negative aspects of something in order to detach yourself from it is a valuable tool when it is used in moderation and applied reasonably, but when allowed to dictate and taint thought processes can severely limit my potential and possibilities.

Were I to decide to quit using ESR, as I have very verbally announced more than a few times in the past, what exactly would I be gaining or losing? Were I to decide that working on the site is unrewarding and uninspiring, what would I gain or lose? What would the site gain or lose? It would be another disintegrating road, forgotten by the people who use it, who would simply add to the traffic of some other streets, should there be some others around who desire to maintain their own.

When does it pay to let your dreams decay? How could this world exist without the quiet pillars of development toiling away without appreciation, taken as granted to them by the vocally dismissive and loudly insulting masses of mostly unproductive, ignorant, mindless, indulgent, and ungrateful consumers?

Why should anybody wish to offer something free to a crowd that doesn't appreciate it? I suppose because for every arbitrary number of people thoughtlessly grinding the road to dust, there is one stepping carefully, with respect for the monumental amount of effort required both to invent and maintain the conveniences we have all come to know and loathe.

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Gametype: Team Game
Map: de_dust2
Mod: N/A
Viewpoint: brandan
Version info: a million point oh or 1.6
How to play back CS demos


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Gametype: Duel
Map: q3dm6 - The Campgrounds
Mod: N/A
Viewpoint: s.faggot
Version info: 1.32
How to play back Q3 demos

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Gametype: Team Game
Map: cs_italy
Mod: N/A
Viewpoint: brandan
Version info: 1.whatever is the latest
How to play back CS demos

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